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Power Exchange

Posted on July 31, 2020 | by freakz

“When I am good, I am very good. But when I am bad, I’m better.”
-Mae West

Definition

Power exchange is a relationship between a BDSM Master and slave, where the slave serves the Master’s authority. This is not the same thing as a Dominant/submissive relationship which are typically based on love. The power exchange relationship is about power and authority. They can often be mostly sexual fantasy and roleplay, though there are relationships in which the power exchange is a 24/7 lifestyle, meaning they are always in the power exchange dynamic. A well-known early depiction of a 24/7 power exchange relationship is in the book “Venus in Furs”, written by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose last name inspired the word “masochism”.

Symbols of Power Exchange

Because the power exchange dynamic runs so deep, there are many symbols that exist to convey it to the outside world. One such symbol is a collar. Collaring is a commitment of the Master and slave to one another for servitude and protection. The slave is pledging their obedience to their Master and in turn the Master pledges to take care of and protect the slave. For many power exchange relationships collaring is more significant than marriage and requires more trust. Some power exchange relationships also create contracts to define their relationship, especially if they are engaging in a 24/7 lifestyle. The use of such a contract was popularized by ‘Venus in Furs”, which in turn was inspired by Sacher-Masoch’s real contract with a Mistress.

Slave Training

When a Master and slave enter into a power exchange relationship there is often a period of slave training. There is no time limit for this training and it can last for years. If a Master has multiple slaves they will often have levels of initiation or training to award their slaves. The slaves have to work their way through the different levels and each level affords different privileges. It is possible to be a slave to more than one Master, but that is uncommon and if a slave has more than one Master there is typically a hierarchy. Slaves can also be Masters to their own slaves.

Sensation Play

Posted on July 31, 2020 | by freakz

“Yes, I was infatuated with you: I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me.”
-Sylvia Plath

Definition

Sensation play is comprised of activities that simply give physical sensations to your partner. This can be done by inhibiting other sensations or just by causing sensations through touch and sound. The idea is to allow your partner to really feel their body and what is happening to it. It can be pleasure inducing or pain inducing. It can involve withholding and confusing the senses, such as alternating between spanking and feather touch.

Sexuality of Sensation

In our modern world, many people complain about not getting enough out of their sexual experiences, about lackluster orgasms, low libido, or impotence. Sensation play is a sexual experience that is not just about sex. The entire point is to get you more connected to your body and really feel what is happening inside your own skin. Emotionally it is also a great tool for intimacy building, as one partner is focusing their energy on another partner entirely. The effects tend to be physically arousing, so even if the original intention was not to have sex it can often lead to sex, and really good sex for that matter, since the person who received the sensation play has become more connected to their body and more emotionally connected to their partner.

Safety

Typically there are no special safety precautions when it comes to most sensation play. If the play involves more pain stimulus then you need to be cautious of abrasions, scratches, swelling, and any other injuries. It is a good idea to keep a first aid kit around. For either the pleasure or pain side of sensation play it is a good idea to have a safe word. A safe word is a word that when said stops all activity immediately and without question. Remember that even pleasurable sensations can be physically or emotionally overwhelming, so a safe word is a good idea.

Acarophilia

Posted on July 31, 2020 | by freakz

“It is not contrary to reason to prefer the destruction of the whole world to the scratching of my finger.”
-David Hume

Definition

Acarophilia is when you get sexual pleasure from scratching. The great thing about a scratching kink is that you don’t have to know much about it to do it. Scratching can be light or it can be hard. A lot of times people get into scratching accidentally. Maybe they scratch up their partners back during sex and then they see the scratch marks the next day and get aroused. Ultimately, scratching is sensation play.

Start Scratching

Acarophilia requires no training, no special classes, no books – it doesn’t even require fingernails! Anyone can scratch. You can use your fingernails or an implement like a nail or other pointed object. To start off with scratching it is a good idea to start off light. Scratching is mostly about the sensation, so start with a lighter sensation and then go deeper as you and your partner desire.

What Acarophilia Isn’t

Scratching is not a submissive/Dominant thing. It is about sensation. You do not have to be in a BDSM relationship or play situation to enjoy scratching. Many people scratch erotically during missionary sex. Scratching is also not about wanting to give or receive pain. It is about the sensation of the scratching and the sensation of the scratches afterwords. Depending on how hard you scratch, the scratched area can become sensitive and that sensitivity can be an erotic stimulus just by feeling its soreness.

Safety

Because acarophilia can involve breaking the skin, you want to make sure to follow some safety precautions. Make sure your nails are clean and there is no dirt of debris. It is a good idea to not only wash your hands but use a nail brush to really scrub. Our nails hold a lot of bacteria and that bacteria can easily cause an infection. Make sure your partner has bathed and is clean. Even if your nails are clean if their skin is dirty it can introduce bacteria into the scratch and cause an infection. It is a good idea to keep a first aid kit handy. If you break the skin, clean and disinfect the scratches. If they are bleeding you may want to apply bandages.

Birching

Posted on July 31, 2020 | by freakz

“Bring back the birch, and the cat of nine tails. Bring back corporal punishment. Bring back the stocks. And the axeman’s block”
-The Kinks

Definition

Birching is a form of corporal punishment. It typically involves using a birch rod or a bunch of birch branches. The person being punished exposes their bare bottom and it is then whipped with the birch. Sometimes the birching may be done to the back or shoulders, but the bum is the most common.

What is Birch?

Birch, in reference to corporal punishment, is bundles of leafless twigs that have been bound together with the express intention of inflicting corporal punishment. Despite its name, the twigs used do not have to be from a birch tree. The birch can be made from any twig that is strong and smooth. The construction of the birch greatly influences the severity of it. The number of twigs used, as well as their smoothness, length and weight all greatly affect how hard it hits the body. Some people prefer birching to cat o’ nine tails because they have more control over the severity by simply adding or removing twigs.

History

Birching was used all throughout the UK for many centuries, as well as in other countries. It was used as a form of corporal punishment in jails as well as in schools. In schools special chairs were built specifically for birching, known as birching donkeys or birching ponies. The use of the birch fell out of favor in the mid 1900’s as corporal punishment became less common. In other parts of the world, like Russia and the Baltics, birching was used as a spa therapy. People would use the birch to flagellate themselves. It was thought to be good for the body as it increased circulation. Soaking the birch in water before use and leaving the leaves on softens the birch and creates a soft stinging sensation which is quite pleasant.

Dutch Rub

Posted on July 31, 2020 | by freakz

Boogie boogie. I just want to give you nook. Noogie noogie. Turn around let me see how you would. Do me Do me”
-Twista

Definition

A dutch rub is also known as a noogie. This is when someone roughly rubs their knuckles across someone else’s head. A noogie is often performed while someone is in a headlock, meaning their head and neck are being held in the crook of the other person’s elbow. Typically a noogie is non-sexual. A dutch rub, though basically the same thing, is done willingly by both parties and is sexual. It is a common form of abrasion play.

The Kink of Dutch Rub

An abrasion kink is when someone becomes sexually aroused by coming into contact with a rough surface such as sandpaper. However, it can also be deriving sexual arousal from rough surface contact, such as knuckles being roughly rubbed into their head or other parts of their body. The dutch rub is a safe way to participate in abrasion kink, with very little risk of causing an actual abrasion. The knuckles can be rubbed on the person’s head or other part of their body.

Safety

Though a dutch rub is a very safe form of abrasion kink, any abrasion has the potential to cause injury. A dutch rub is more likely to cause bruising but can also cause tears in the skin. It is a good idea to have a first aid kid ready in case the skin is broken. If the dutch rub is more aggressive, it is a good idea to have ice available in case of any swelling and arnica cream for bruising.

Abrasions

Posted on July 31, 2020 | by freakz

“I’m shiny and I know it. Don’t know why you wanna blow it. Need a man who likes it rough, likes it rough, likes it rough”
-Lady Gaga

Definition

The abrasion kink is when someone becomes sexually aroused because of being touched with something abrasive, meaning something rough to the touch like sandpaper. It can also be the rough rubbing of the skin from one person to another, also known as a dutch rub, or using scratchy and abrasive substances like sandpaper, steel wool or thistles. It can expand beyond rubbing and into hitting someone with something scratchy like twigs, otherwise known as birching.

Safety

The abrasion kink has the potential to become a safety issue. Though typically the people who are engaging with abrasion play are not trying to cause physical injury, there are people who want to have actual abrasions left on their body. The primary concern with creating real abrasions is infection. There is risk of infection to the wound but also infection via bloodborne disease. It is a good idea to make sure all sexual partners have been tested for sexually transmitted diseases. This way you reduce the risk of transmitting any disease through blood if the skin is broken. It is recommended to keep a first aid kit at hand in case of breaking the skin. The abrasion should be cleaned, disinfected, and bandaged. It is not recommended to participate in abrasion kink to the point of breaking the skin, though accidents happen and it is better to be prepared.

Precautions & Aftercare

For proper preparation, especially because there is a risk of breaking the skin, it is important to ensure that all the tools being used have been sterilized to reduce the risk of bacterial infection. Because substances like sand, sand paper and sticks may be used, it is important to make sure that all abrasions, even ones that did not break the skin, are properly washed and cleaned. These objects can leave debris which can also lead to infection. It is also a good idea to avoid abrasion play on genitals or any orifice, such as mouth and ears. Overall, abrasion play is typically very safe. Do what feels good and make sure to have a safe word for anything that pushes you too far or hurts too much.

Abasiophilia

Posted on July 31, 2020 | by freakz

“Just put me in a wheelchair, get me to the show. Hurry hurry hurry, before I go loco… I wanna be sedated.”
– Ramones

Definition

Abasiophilia is a sexual attraction to people with impaired mobility, especially people in wheelchairs, crutches, and people who use orthopedic appliances. However, the person who is mobility challenged does not have to be truly disabled. There are many people who have this fetish that role play as being disabled.

The sexy side of wheelchairs

Healthy people who pretend to be confined to a wheelchair are often participating in a variety of possible fantasies. One might be the fantasy of overcoming the wheelchair and standing and walking. It could be the idea that you are not in control of your own body and someone has their way with you. Abasiophilia is not just an attraction to pretension or roleplay but also to people who are truly mobility challenged. Part of the attraction can be the power play of knowing that person is dependent on you. It can fall into medical fantasies of the naughty nurse as well. Some people who had times in their life where they were confined by a wheelchair, crutches, or other orthopedic devices, can be tapping into the sexual power of feeling completely under another person’s control.

Abasiophilia and feeling sexy

Though not everyone who is mobility challenged is excited to meet someone who has a fetish for people who are mobility challenged, for those that welcome it, it is a way to feel sexy. One issue that a lot of mobility challenged people have is reclaiming their sexuality. Just because someone is mobility challenged does not mean their sex drive or sexual interest goes away, but it is not uncommon for people to stop seeing them as sexual beings. There is a lot of misunderstanding about the sex lives of mobility challenged people. For people with abasiophilia, it can be a celebration of the sexuality and sensuality of the mobility challenged.

Nerd Boys

Posted on July 24, 2020 | by freakz

“Be nice to nerds. You might end up working for them one day.”
-Charles J. Sykes

Definition

A nerd guy is a dude who might lack social skills, typically wears glasses, and can easily get obsessed with computers or technical stuff. There are all sorts of nerds and being a nerd used to be considered a bad thing, but now opinions have gradually changed. All the people who used to be nerds are now high-powered technical executives or popular in online fandoms. However, there are other types of nerd men. These are guys who live in their mom’s basement and fap to porn all day while making sure that they leave their internet comments on everything, whether it’s helpful or not. There are nerds who are in the medical field who love to have a good time in the science lab. And there are nerds who enjoy playing video games. Whatever type of nerd you are, there are gamer girls for you!

Nerd Porn

Did you know there is porn just for nerds? There is porn where girls are playing your favorite video games and they can even play with you live on webcam. There is also porn where chicks are reading books and just overall being nerdy. For some guys all it takes is a chick in glasses to get off! If you like things old-school then you can easily see that the old trope of the sexy librarian turned into the nerdy pornstar of today.

Find Your Own Nerd

Porn is great but don’t you want to find your own nerd to date in real life? If you do, then you will want to get onto a nerd dating site, or find one that is specific to your favorite hobby. Nerds are the future or so they say. This is because they have lots of ideas for the future and knowledge about technology. There are even nerdy dating events for people in certain industries that are quite nerdalicious. If you’re a dork don’t fret, there is even someone out there for you to date.

Needle Play

Posted on July 24, 2020 | by freakz

“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
-William Goldman

Definition

Needle play is a kind of sexual activity that is done by people who have been trained how to put needles through skin in a safe and sexy way. It’s a painful type of play that creates some beautiful results when done well, and with a good intention. Many people like to create needle corsets or beautiful play piercing designs on their submissives. Some get off on the true trust and submission that it takes in order to do this kind of play. Others love the endorphin rush that comes from the pain of so many piercings in a play session.

It’s Safe, With Training

If you’ve been trained to play with needles then it can be safe. Don’t try to just randomly stick people with needles though, because you can make them very sick if you don’t know about proper sterilization. In addition, you should protect yourself from bloodborne pathogens by using gloves, in case things get messy. As with many sexual activities, it’s best if you know the STI status of your play partners. Needle tops should always use fresh, new hypodermic or acupuncture needles, and should never reuse the needles. Skin should be thoroughly cleaned with an antiseptic before doing a scene with needles, and a basic knowledge of human anatomy is also helpful.

On The Hook

One extreme form of play piercing is known as hook suspension. Usually needle play and play piercing are like a gateway to this type of play. Those who enjoy this play get large hooks strategically placed in their bodies. Then they are hung up from these hooks by experts who know how to not leave any lasting damage to the body. It seems extreme but it’s actually something that has been part of a few tribal religious ceremonies in the past. Nowadays it is usually done by a small group of people who are experts and know how to work together to give someone an awesome suspension experience.

Money Shot

Posted on July 24, 2020 | by freakz

“Open throat and money shot.”
-Motorhead

Definition

The money shot is the moment in porn when the guy spews his jizz and it is the best thing ever. It has also come to mean any shot in a movie or TV show that is completely exquisite or really makes a big difference in the whole thing. If you have wondered what this term means, now you really know. Before it came to have the porn connotations, it simply meant the most expensive shot in a movie, and people just assumed that the time when a guy jizzes himself is the best one!

Homemade Porn

If you are making your own homemade porn movies, how can you best capture the money spot? Well, it’s pretty easy, though it can be missed since it can’t exactly be repeated. You should make sure that you have the camera in the right place to catch the action. If it’s just the two of your filming it, then you should use a tripod device to keep the camera in place. Then simply make sure that you get the action hot enough so that your partner can jizz all over the place. There you will have the money shot.

Is it Fair?

Well, most people consider the money shot to be when the guy cums, but what about the girl? Ladies need to have orgasms too. So some people wonder if it is fair to have the money shot be all about the guy. That’s why many feminist porn makers have made their porn about pleasure and orgasm in general, no matter the genitals of the person involved. So you will be able to see more kinds of people orgasming in porn these days, proving that maybe there can be a more broad idea of what a money shot is.