Category: A

“It is an anxious, sometimes a dangerous thing to be a doll. Dolls cannot choose; they can only be chosen; they cannot ‘do’; they can only be done by.”

-Rumer Godden

Definition

Agalmatophilia comes from the Greek word for statue and love. It is a sexual attraction to a doll, statue, mannequin, or body-shaped objects (think man pillows). Typically the attraction is to objects resembling nude people but can deepen to real emotions for nude and non-nude people-shaped objects. It is also known as object sexuality and as doll fetish. This is not the same thing as dollification, which is someone dressing up as a doll.

All Dolled Up

Agalmatophilia typically involves sexual acts, sexual thoughts, and sexual fantasies involving dolls. A lot of jokes have been made over the years about sexual interactions with blowup dolls, and those are often used as bachelor party gifts. However, the blowup dolls exist because the interest is real. 

Dolls & Japan

In Japanese mythology the doll is considered a soul bearer and is connected to the dream world. They can be used in stories to both scare and reassure. It is said that the doll traps man in the world of the fantastic. In an essay by Japanese writer Edogawa Ranpo, she says that dolls are the ultimate fetish because of the ability to be an erotic stimulus, a partner, an object of veneration, a tool for transgressive desires and expressing hidden desires. They can also be a receptacle for love. Someone may not be able to love a person, or be in a loving relationship with a person, but they can do so with a doll. 

“Men like you should be left to the mercy of women like me.”

-Sam J. Charlatan

Definition

The Amazons were believed to be a tribe of women warriors. They were very aggressive and their primary concern in life was war. Some myths suggest that the Amazons live forever, or have unnaturally long lives, lasting until they are killed in battle. Wonder Woman is the most famous Amazon in modern times, and has brought the Greek myth into modern pop culture.

Amazon History And Myths

There are a lot of interesting myths about Amazon women. One is that they would cut off a breast to make it easier to draw a bow. Another is that they are man killers. The most exciting and sexy myth is that they are a group of man-hating virgins. Historically, it is believed that an Amazon would not marry until she had slain a man in battle. The strong sisterhood portrayed between Amazons also lead to the belief that they were lesbians. Some myths say they were completely isolated from men and only used them for procreation, and occasionally recreation.

Amazon Fetish

A BDSM relationship can often start with a strong man-hating (or at least man-dominating) woman. For many, this is the start of a FemDom/submissive relationship. Within the Amazon fetish there is a large component of being dominated and humiliated, getting used by her sexually and then being dismissed when she is done. There is also a cosplay element in liking Amazons. They were known for being tall and very fierce. They can look tribal, or take the more modern Wonder Woman interpretation. An Amazon fetish can open the door to a lot of fun cosplay and scenes.

“Hatred is blind, as well as love.”

-Oscar Wilde

Definition

Amaurophilia is mainly a sexual preference for sex with a blind person, but it can also refer to wanting sex with someone who is blindfolded, or in total darkness.

Beyond the Blindfold

Amaurophiliacs go beyond just wearing a blindfold. Often the desired effect is to simulate blindness, which means being in total darkness. For some, it can also mean a preference for sex with blind people. It is believed that having sex in darkness will increase all of your other senses, making your sense of touch, sound, and taste heightened and increasing your pleasure. There is also a big trust element when you are blindfolded. You do not know what your partner is doing or will do to you. The sense of heightened anticipation can also make your other senses seem more sensitive.

Flying Blind

If you are interested in trying out blind sex the easiest way to do it is to try using a blindfold. A blindfold does not have to be anything fancy. It can be a suit tie, or a scarf folded up. Sleeping masks work as wonderful blindfolds. If you don’t like the feeling of something over your eyes, you can try blacking out your room using blackout curtains, put towels under the doors to block out light seeping in, and simply turn out the lights. If you blackout your room, make sure you don’t seal it so you cut off air circulation. Once the lights are off, try not to trip over furniture, and have fun exploring each other blind.

“Sometimes it gets so hot I want to crawl right out of my skin.”

-John Goodman, Charlie Meadows

Definition

Actirasty is the deriving of sexual pleasure from the sun’s rays. It is a common weather fetish.

Sun Worshipers

The term sun worshipers can be used to reference people who literally worship the sun or sun gods, or just people who love to lay out in the sun all the time. Most modern sun worshipers are from that second group – just people who love the sun and try to spend as much time in its rays as possible. They often do not care too much for the after-effects of the sun on their skin, so tanning and tan lines can be a part of sun worship.

The Pleasure Of Sun Rays

It is a fact that the sun literally makes people feel better. It is a mood elevator and a cure for seasonal depression. But for some, it improves more than their mood. It can give them erotic pleasurable sensations. Though people who find sexual pleasure from the sun may not be able to stand in the sunlight and reach orgasm, the effect is one that roots them in their body and turns on all the sensual feelings inside them. They can derive sensual feeling from the places on their body the sun warms. 

Dangers of the Sun

For the most part this is a fairy safe fetish. Even if you are having sex fully naked in the sun, it is pretty safe. The biggest risk is sunburn, which can be combated by simply putting on sunblock. There is a risk of premature aging, but sunblock should take care of that risk.

“What happened under the moon
It stays under the moon”

-070 Shake

Definitions

Agoraphilia is getting aroused by having sex in public places or outside. This can be having sex outdoors or simply fantasizing about sex outside. Though this seems like it is exhibitionism, it is different. Exhibitionism is when someone gets sexual pleasure at the idea of being seen. Though some agoraphiles may also be exhibitionists, not all are. 

Fantasy vs. Reality

Sex outside is a very common fantasy, and a reality for a lot of people. For many people agoraphilia can just mean having sex outside – it does not have to be in a public place. It can happen in your pool, in your backyard, or in the woods when you are camping. As long as other people are not non-consensually watching you, then your fantasy can become a reality with relative ease and safety.

If you want to have sex in public places where people may see you, even if you don’t actually want to be seen, you start to tread into some murky waters. If you have sex where someone can see you and you did not get their consent, then this becomes an issue of non-consent and can be a crime. This includes sex in your backyard. If you have sex in public and a person sees you, you may get busted for indecent exposure and licentiousness. If the exhibitionism aspect of agoraphilia is interesting to you, sex clubs are a great way to go. Sex clubs allow you to have sex in public and your audience is all consenting.

Safety

If you are going to have sex in public, make sure you are aware of your surroundings. It is possible to have public sex and still be private, such as going to a single person bathroom or locking yourself in a coat closet. Make sure there are no people around or any way you could be seen. If you are in nature, be wary of things like poison ivy and animals. If you have sex at work, just be prepared that you could lose your job. Always keep in mind that there are security cameras everywhere and even if it seems private you may have Big Brother watching you.

“Are you lost babygirl?”

-Massimo, 365 Days

Definition

Abduction as seduction is also known as forced seduction. It is a theme that is found in a lot of western literature, especially soap operas, where a woman is kidnapped or held against her will, forced into non-consensual romance or interactions, and then truly falls in love with her captor. It is basically the romance novel version of Stockholm Syndrome.

Abduction in romantic history

There are a lot of ancient cultures around that world that encouraged the abduction of women to become brides. This was more common among conquered people, where women would be married to the conquerors. This idea led to many a romance novel cover with the bare-chested man with his hair blowing in the wind holding the woman who is both pulling away and holding on to him as he captures her and steals her away. The handsome swarthy man wants to kidnap his reluctant and beautiful victim. Overtaken by her beauty, he succumbs to his physical desires and ultimately his emotions get the best of him and he falls in love. Meanwhile, though she is resisting him, she sees the vulnerability in her captor and the tenderness he shows her and she falls in love with him too.

Roleplay

Abduction as seduction is a very common roleplay fantasy. Most often it includes the abductee getting snatched from their room or when walking around and then taken somewhere unfamiliar and then they play at non-consensual sex, acting like the sex is unwanted and the abductor is forcing themselves on the abductee while they struggle and resist.  Because of the potential for legitimate non-consent issues many people institute safe words. This is a word that when said causes all activity to stop, no matter what is going on. Using a safe word helps prevent any issues of real non-consent and lets the roleplay participants abduct and be abducted as much as they enjoy.

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”

-Scott Hamilton

Definition

Acrotomophilia, otherwise known as handicapped fetish, is when someone has a sexual desire to be with people who are differently abled. They may love people who use wheelchairs, or perhaps they like people who are in casts or on crutches. Those who might have a more extreme version of this fetish may like people who are missing limbs or who have a prosthetic limb. Others might fantasize about having one of their own limbs removed.

Devotees, Pretenders and Wannabes

The above three categories are the different types of player you can be in this unique but not unusual fetish. A devotee is someone who is not disabled but is sexually attracted to people who are. Many of them have a specific disability that they enjoy, while others simply like to take care of someone who is disabled in general, and they get sexual satisfaction from that. Pretenders pretend that they are disabled for sexual pleasure. They might use a wheelchair or crutches during a play scene. Wannabes are those who actually want to be disabled.

Why People Like It

Many people speculate that those that are into wheelchair, amputee and other disability fetishes are attracted to them for similar reasons to BDSM or bondage. The disabled person in their minds is helpless. Devotees are like doms, caring for and to some extent controlling the bottom. Wannabes and pretenders are like subs, putting themselves at the mercy of a devotee.

Amputee Fetish

This fetish is often enjoyed by many who don’t consider themselves to be fans of disability. It might be because it is simply so wrong and taboo to fixate on someone’s maiming or difference, that it is easy to fetishize it. Amputees also have a whole new level of helplessness that some devotees truly get off on. However, those who are wannabes of the amputee fetish can find themselves in a dangerous situation if they go to any lengths to actually enact their fantasies.

“It is not contrary to reason to prefer the destruction of the whole world to the scratching of my finger.”

-David Hume

Definition

Acarophilia is when you get sexual pleasure from scratching. The great thing about a scratching kink is that you don’t have to know much about it to do it. Scratching can be light or it can be hard. A lot of times people get into scratching accidentally. Maybe they scratch up their partners back during sex and then they see the scratch marks the next day and get aroused. Ultimately, scratching is sensation play. 

Start Scratching

Acarophilia requires no training, no special classes, no books – it doesn’t even require fingernails! Anyone can scratch. You can use your fingernails or an implement like a nail or other pointed object. To start off with scratching it is a good idea to start off light. Scratching is mostly about the sensation, so start with a lighter sensation and then go deeper as you and your partner desire. 

What Acarophilia Isn’t

Scratching is not a submissive/Dominant thing. It is about sensation. You do not have to be in a BDSM relationship or play situation to enjoy scratching. Many people scratch erotically during missionary sex. Scratching is also not about wanting to give or receive pain. It is about the sensation of the scratching and the sensation of the scratches afterwords. Depending on how hard you scratch, the scratched area can become sensitive and that sensitivity can be an erotic stimulus just by feeling its soreness. 

Safety

Because acarophilia can involve breaking the skin, you want to make sure to follow some safety precautions. Make sure your nails are clean and there is no dirt of debris. It is a good idea to not only wash your hands but use a nail brush to really scrub. Our nails hold a lot of bacteria and that bacteria can easily cause an infection. Make sure your partner has bathed and is clean. Even if your nails are clean if their skin is dirty it can introduce bacteria into the scratch and cause an infection. It is a good idea to keep a first aid kit handy. If you break the skin, clean and disinfect the scratches. If they are bleeding you may want to apply bandages.

“I’m shiny and I know it. Don’t know why you wanna blow it. Need a man who likes it rough, likes it rough, likes it rough”

-Lady Gaga

Definition

The abrasion kink is when someone becomes sexually aroused because of being touched with something abrasive, meaning something rough to the touch like sandpaper. It can also be the rough rubbing of the skin from one person to another, also known as a dutch rub, or using scratchy and abrasive substances like sandpaper, steel wool or thistles. It can expand beyond rubbing and into hitting someone with something scratchy like twigs, otherwise known as birching.

Safety

The abrasion kink has the potential to become a safety issue. Though typically the people who are engaging with abrasion play are not trying to cause physical injury, there are people who want to have actual abrasions left on their body. The primary concern with creating real abrasions is infection. There is risk of infection to the wound but also infection via bloodborne disease. It is a good idea to make sure all sexual partners have been tested for sexually transmitted diseases. This way you reduce the risk of transmitting any disease through blood if the skin is broken. It is recommended to keep a first aid kit at hand in case of breaking the skin. The abrasion should be cleaned, disinfected, and bandaged. It is not recommended to participate in abrasion kink to the point of breaking the skin, though accidents happen and it is better to be prepared. 

Precautions & Aftercare

For proper preparation, especially because there is a risk of breaking the skin, it is important to ensure that all the tools being used have been sterilized to reduce the risk of bacterial infection. Because substances like sand, sand paper and sticks may be used, it is important to make sure that all abrasions, even ones that did not break the skin, are properly washed and cleaned. These objects can leave debris which can also lead to infection. It is also a good idea to avoid abrasion play on genitals or any orifice, such as mouth and ears. Overall, abrasion play is typically very safe. Do what feels good and make sure to have a safe word for anything that pushes you too far or hurts too much.

“Just put me in a wheelchair, get me to the show. Hurry hurry hurry, before I go loco… I wanna be sedated.”

– Ramones

Definition

Abasiophilia is a sexual attraction to people with impaired mobility, especially people in wheelchairs, crutches, and people who use orthopedic appliances. However, the person who is mobility challenged does not have to be truly disabled. There are many people who have this fetish that role play as being disabled.

The sexy side of wheelchairs

Healthy people who pretend to be confined to a wheelchair are often participating in a variety of possible fantasies. One might be the fantasy of overcoming the wheelchair and standing and walking. It could be the idea that you are not in control of your own body and someone has their way with you. Abasiophilia is not just an attraction to pretension or roleplay but also to people who are truly mobility challenged. Part of the attraction can be the power play of knowing that person is dependent on you. It can fall into medical fantasies of the naughty nurse as well. Some people who had times in their life where they were confined by a wheelchair, crutches, or other orthopedic devices, can be tapping into the sexual power of feeling completely under another person’s control.

Abasiophilia and feeling sexy

Though not everyone who is mobility challenged is excited to meet someone who has a fetish for people who are mobility challenged, for those that welcome it, it is a way to feel sexy. One issue that a lot of mobility challenged people have is reclaiming their sexuality. Just because someone is mobility challenged does not mean their sex drive or sexual interest goes away, but it is not uncommon for people to stop seeing them as sexual beings. There is a lot of misunderstanding about the sex lives of mobility challenged people. For people with abasiophilia, it can be a celebration of the sexuality and sensuality of the mobility challenged.