Category: L

“I’m in lesbians with you”

-Scott Pilgrim

Definition of Lesbian

A lesbian is a woman that is attracted to other women. The term refers to gay women and to homosexuality in women. Many people question their sexuality at some point in their life, and the word lesbian can be used to describe specific interactions or as a sexual orientation in general. Whether being used to describe sexual identity, sexual behavior, or a specific way of life, lesbians are a larger percent of the population than most people believe. Being a lesbian is not specifically about sex; it can refer to a woman who is romantically attracted to other women, in addition to referring to a woman who is sexually attracted to other ladies. The term lesbian started to be used to differentiate women with a shared sexual orientation in the 20th century. It is a sexual orientation, in the same way that being straight, bisexual or pansexual are.

Portrayal of Lesbians In Porn & Media

Lesbians have been portrayed in the media in many different ways, but there is no doubt that society has always been intrigued by women who challenge gender roles and traditional sexualities. Over time, lesbians have moved from being controversial in movies and television show scenes to becoming much more accepted and common. However, people who enjoy pornography and live sex cams have been watching lesbian sex and interactions between women for many more years than TV viewers! There are concerns for lesbians in real life, including discrimination, prejudice, and minority stress. While political conditions and social attitudes have been becoming more positive, there is still a long way to go when it comes to acceptance of lesbian romantic relationships, or women loving women, as well as sexual relationships between ladies. Lesbians are wonderful people, whether you are dating one or just have fantasies about them from the sidelines.

The Bottom Line About Lesbians

Lesbians are fantastic, and there are more of them out there than people think. The word lesbian refers to both sexual activities between two women and is a sexuality in itself. As the L in LGBT, the idea that two women can have a relationship, love each other, and have sex with each other has become more normalized over the years. The term is important when it comes to sexual identity for many people. While the idea that sexual activity is necessary between two women to define a lesbian or a lesbian relationship has been debated in the past, that debate has been put to rest in recent years. No sexual relationship or experience is needed for a person to be considered a lesbian.

“Girls love each other like animals. There is something ferocious and unself-conscious about it. […] We love with claws and teeth and the blood is just proof of how much. It’s feral. And it’s relentless.”

-Leah Raeder, Black Iris

Definition

Lesbian domination involves a lesbian in the position of a dominatrix, dominating one or several women. This can sometimes involve the dominant woman using men as her slaves while she engages in erotic activities or dominates another woman. But this BDSM act most often involves a woman just dominating another woman with no men involved at all.

The Fetish

Commonly lesbian domination, or lezdom, involves a woman dominating other women sexually and also through various BDSM activities. There isn’t always sex involved in the act of domination, and it isn’t a requirement for the enactment of this fetish. A woman dominating another woman can involve the use of restraints, flogging, acts of shaming and a number of other kinks that are woven into domination as well. The main requirement of lesbian domination is that lesbians are involved in the acts of domination, and in being dominated.

What To Do

If you’re interested in lesbian domination, you’ll be able to access relevant information through many sites dedicated to connecting with female and lesbian doms, or online communities based around BDSM relationships. There are a number of Dommes for hire if you want to engage in being dominated by a lesbian dominatrix, and you may find access to them through many websites. If you are looking for a less personal interaction, you can enjoy a variety of lezdom porn online. Chatrooms are available on fetish sites where you can ask any questions you might have over lesbian domination, or just to check out what kind of domination games can be played. Lesbian doms are available on many sites, including webcam sites where you will be able to engage with them visually as well.

“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.”

-Toni Morrison, Beloved

Definition

Lithromantic is a romantic orientation on the Aromantic scale. It is also known as akoiromantic. A lithromantic person will experience romantic attraction but they are not interested in it being reciprocated. 

Reciprocation as a Romance Killer

Lithromantic people are uncomfortable with the idea that someone is romantically attracted to them. They may have romantic feelings toward someone but not only do they not want it to be reciprocated, any reciprocation can cause them to lose the romantic feelings they were having. Because of this, lithromantics do not seek out romantic relationships. You might say this makes them Aro. Not quite. An Aromantic person typically does not have romantic feelings. A Lithromantic person has the feelings but they do not want to act on them or have anyone else act on them. Just like with all of the orientations on the aromantic spectrum, lithromatic can have any sexual orientation associated with it. 

Is there ever romance?

Yes, or at least there can be. Lithromantic oriented people have a strong aversion to people showing immediate romantic interest, or interest over time. This does not mean that they always experience that and occasionally they might find someone they want to have a reciprocal romantic relationship with. 

The Lesbian Controversy

Lithromantic has often been replaced with the term akoiromantic due to a controversy about the term appropriating lesbian culture. Lith means stone in Greek and has often been used in conjunction with stone lesbians – stone butches in particular. Because of this some people believe the term only belongs to lesbians, and to better imply that the term is meant for any gender and any orientation they will use akoiromantic instead.

“From the first time I saw you, I’ve belonged to you completely.”

-Cassandra Clare

Definition

Those who engage in a 24/7 lifestyle BDSM relationship are couples (or groups of people) who don’t see any distinction in between real life and play. For them BDSM goes beyond the few hours that a fun session might take place, and their devotion to their masters and mistresses is taken quite seriously. To get into a 24/7 lifestyle relationship is a pretty big decision for anyone, but then again, what kind of commitment isn’t? Sometimes the subs in these types of relationships consider themselves slaves, but each relationship is different and has different titles and rules.

Contracts

When entering a 24/7 lifestyle BDSM relationship, many couples enjoy having a contract. This is a document which will state the rules of the relationship and, especially when starting out, a time frame to test out the stipulation of the contract. Of course these documents are not legally binding and any reasonable person would allow anything in it that is just not working to be changed, but for some people the idea that such a contract would be binding is very scintillating and makes them feel truly submissive (or dominant).

Collaring

When a submissive enters into a lifestyle relationship, often times they will wear a collar to signify that they are owned. Collars range from bulky things that actually lock, to delicate necklaces that are more symbolic. These are not much different than engagement rings and wedding bands that non-fetish couples use to signify that they are taken or not. The downside to a more fetish-oriented collar is that it would prevent a person from flying under the radar at work or with other family members, so some players have two collars – one for private play and another for everyday life.

The Day to Day

The daily life of a lifestyle BDSM couple might not seem that exciting, but there are small things which make it so for the couple involved. This could mean the sub rubs their top’s feet at the end of the day, or a special sleeping arrangement with the sub at the foot of the bed or on the floor. It could also mean the sub walks around naked when at home, or wears special garments specified by the dominant. Every couple with a 24/7 lifestyle relationship has different tastes, so their day to day life can look starkly different from other lifestyle BDSM couples.

“The heart is capable of sacrifice, and so is the vagina.”

-Eve Ensler

Definition

Labia stretching is a sexual practice that is performed for a lot of different purposes. It involves stretching the labia out for any number of different reasons. Some people in certain African countries use labia stretching as a ceremonial sexual practice to enhance feeling and increase the possibility of squirting. Others simply do it because they enjoy body modification; while others do it to make sure that their labia are symmetrical.

Vagina Controversy

Labia stretching is actually a controversial practice because in some places where it is seen as mandatory, some worry that women feel like it is something they have to do in order to be seen as sexually desirable. However, others feel this isn’t much different than women who get plastic surgery in the Western world to increase their bust or trim down their waistline. In the West, women tend to prefer shorter labia, and even go through plastic surgery to make their labia small, short and neat, the way they imagine many pornstars have it. However, others believe that bigger labia mean more sexual satisfaction! Perhaps you’ll just have to experiment to find out.

Getting Kinky

If you want to try labia stretching as a sexual practice, you can have some fun. It is often done by BDSM couples, especially in ones where the male is dominant and a female is submissive. This can be achieved through a number of ways, but if you were just starting out, it would probably be fun to put some clips or clamps on the outer labia and then attach some weights to them. Then you can see how much weight her labia can take. More advanced couples get gauged piercings and things like that in the labia to stretch them.

“They were maps that lived, maps that one could study, frown over, and add to; maps, in short, that really meant something.”

-Gerald Durrell

Definition

A lovemap is an idea that was first thought of by a sexologist named John Money. It is basically when someone maps out what their ideal sexual encounter or lover would be like. The term can also be used to map out a whole relationship, but for our purposes we are mainly talking about when you use it for sexual purposes. The lovemap is like your own personal language about sex and love that starts developing early on in life, and it is a concept that many psychologists enjoy using when it comes to discussing someone’s sexuality.

What’s Your LoveMap?

A LoveMap isn’t an actual map that you make, although it can often be qualitatively and quantitatively put down onto paper for at least some aspects of it. It is more of a flavor or a language that belongs to you. You know the types of things you like in bed, the secret things that turn you on and the ones you tell people about, as well as the sexual experiences you’ve had that have shaped your identity today. Lovemaps can become changed over time, especially if trauma occurs.

Do You Need It?

LoveMap is a term that is useful for many who are in therapy or trying to figure out the origins of their sexuality, but it’s not one that you absolutely must use in your life. You can always think about it, but it’s not one of those sex things that you absolutely need to know. It is mainly used by those who are interested in furthering their knowledge about the psychology in sex, and how it affects their sex lives directly. If you are into the idea of a lovemap you should be aware that they change based on life situations and even hormone balances.

“The garden of the world has no limits, only your mind.”

-Rumi

Definition

Limits are something common to talk about in any sexual relationship, but especially in ones that are kinky. It’s important to know what someone’s limits are because that will tell you the things that they do not want to do. If you cross someone’s boundaries or don’t respect their limits, they will not be too happy with you. Before you embark onto a BDSM relationship you might want to search online to find a checklist of different things that are common limits that many people have found helpful before. That way you can know what all of your limits are – separately and together.

Common Limits

Common limits involve age play, anything that would involve a trip to the zoo, and things that are a bit too messy or involve too many filthy bodily fluids. You will not be surprised to find that many of the things we describe here are limits to some, like knife play and edge play. Many people also do not like to dabble in needles or anything that has to do with poking or pricking the body. Some who have had health issues in the past abhor medical play, because it reminds them of their trials and tribulations. Whatever limits your partners have for any reason, it’s important to respect them!

Protocol

It might seem like a buzzkill to bring up limits if you are in the middle of a hot hook up but it is definitely worth it so you will have the knowledge that you have not broken anyone’s boundary in the session so it will be more fun for you. Make sure to put a safeword in place so that if they come up with a boundary at the last minute they have an easy way to let you know during the middle of playtime. That makes it easy for you to just relax and have a good time during any sexy times.

“The only queer people are those who don’t love anybody.”

-Rite Mae Brown

Definition

Lesbophilia describes a lot of guys out there. They love to watch lesbian porn and they have a thing for girls who enjoy making out with each other. Those with lesbophilia would probably rather have a threesome with two girls than anything else, and they might just want to sit back and watch the hot girl on girl action taking place. Not sure if you have lesbophilia? Watch lesbian porn videos and find out if it makes you swoon with sexiness. Lesbians can be so fucking nasty, and those with a fetish for lesbians think about girls fucking girls to get off, even when they are dick-deep in their own girlfriend or wife.

This is Awkward

While there is plenty of lesbian porn out there for guys to enjoy from afar, there aren’t too many real lesbians who are willing to put on a show for free. Some bisexual girls love to make out and play in a threesome, but if you have a fetish for true lesbians then you will probably have a hard time finding a real lesbo couple to make your fantasies come true unless you hire them legally or find them in swinger communities or other places where public sex and bisexuality is pretty much second nature.

Lesbo Porn

Lesbian porn is pretty great and it can give you relief between sex sessions. You can find out whether or not a site has lesbian smut on it pretty easily and you will be able to find lesbians kissing or licking each other in plenty of vids online. Economics also play a role because lesbian porn is cheaper for studios to film than guys and gals together. That’s another reason so many lesbians XXX hardcore movies end up online.

“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”

-Mark Twain

Definition

Lalochezia is a sexual practice in which people feel good whenever they use verbal profanity. It isn’t always a sexual practice but it can be sexual because the person might say fuck repeatedly whenever they experience lalochezia. The true meaning of the term is simply experiencing an emotional release when you swear a lot. This can be sexual or platonic. Either way, swearing is fun and it lets off steam for a lot of people, but when freaks take talking dirty to the next level, that’s where the power of language is fully unleashed!

A History of Swearing

Swearing has been around for a while, probably since the invention of language itself. The actual word profanity means “outside of the temple,” so it started as any language that was for secular purposes, or simply language that wasn’t helpful to religious interests. Over time, it came to mean any swear word that was generally seen in poor favor. Most English swear words are Germanic in origins, while the technical terms for what the swears mean have Latin origins. This is probably because of the difference between the languages of the people and the languages of the educated elite back in the day.

Cursing During Sex

Most people have said some type of swear word during sex. It’s common to urge your partner to fuck you harder, or to call them a slut or a cunt. However, there really is such a thing as a swearing fetish. This could be when you get an erection whenever a hot girl swears around you, or when you get turned on from uttering the bad words themselves. Still others love to be degraded, being called swear words for fun during sex. They love being called a filthy slut, worthless whore or fuck bucket. As usual, it’s the taboo and rare nature of these words that make them so desirable in a sexy situation, and often the topics become even more freaky than the vocabulary people use to describe them.

“Breasts are a scandal because they shatter the border between motherhood and sexuality.”

-Iris Marion Young

Definition

If you’ve got a lactation fetish then you love to see women who can make milk squirt out of their breasts. It’s hard to find someone to fulfill this fetish unless you’re always around someone who is pregnant currently, or has been preggo been. Most women can make a bit of colostrum come out (the thick and creamy substance in a woman’s breasts) however only an active nursemaid can spew milk in quantities suitable for lactation freaks!

Milk Maids

While many people have a fetish for the actual milk that comes out of the breast, others have a fetish for simply suckling on the nipple, perhaps because they realize the difficulties in finding someone who is actively producing. These people might be happy to know that it is actually possible to induce breastfeeding through a combination of completely legal supplements which are made from natural herbs and through pumping the breasts for a long period of time – usually 6 months or more – with a mechanical breast pump. If the milk is important to your fetish, it might be worth it to try but always consult your doctor before starting any dietary regimen.

Milk and Humiliation

One common BDSM fantasy having a woman get her breasts milked. Many fantasy porn movies that are on the more extreme side of BDSM show a woman hooked up to a milking machine that pulls the juice out of each of her tits. A submissive may also want to drink his or her mistress’ breast milk as a reward or as a humiliating punishment. While lactation freaks doesn’t always to come with a BDSM fetish relationship, it can certainly enhance one if you’ve into it as well.