“Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined.”
-Toni Morrison, Beloved
Definition
Lithromantic is a romantic orientation on the Aromantic scale. It is also known as akoiromantic. A lithromantic person will experience romantic attraction but they are not interested in it being reciprocated.
Reciprocation as a Romance Killer
Lithromantic people are uncomfortable with the idea that someone is romantically attracted to them. They may have romantic feelings toward someone but not only do they not want it to be reciprocated, any reciprocation can cause them to lose the romantic feelings they were having. Because of this, lithromantics do not seek out romantic relationships. You might say this makes them Aro. Not quite. An Aromantic person typically does not have romantic feelings. A Lithromantic person has the feelings but they do not want to act on them or have anyone else act on them. Just like with all of the orientations on the aromantic spectrum, lithromatic can have any sexual orientation associated with it.
Is there ever romance?
Yes, or at least there can be. Lithromantic oriented people have a strong aversion to people showing immediate romantic interest, or interest over time. This does not mean that they always experience that and occasionally they might find someone they want to have a reciprocal romantic relationship with.
The Lesbian Controversy
Lithromantic has often been replaced with the term akoiromantic due to a controversy about the term appropriating lesbian culture. Lith means stone in Greek and has often been used in conjunction with stone lesbians – stone butches in particular. Because of this some people believe the term only belongs to lesbians, and to better imply that the term is meant for any gender and any orientation they will use akoiromantic instead.